I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
