How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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