This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
