Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
