You work out of a Hotel?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
