Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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