grandma shit on top of the toilet
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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