Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
