Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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