Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
