He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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