Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I don't deserve a penis
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
