Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You made out with two different species that night
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
