Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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