After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
