Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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