i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
