I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
