Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
