porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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