I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
