She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
