So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
