Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
