u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
