help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
