I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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