So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
