I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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