morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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