dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
