dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
