it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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