you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The uberlube is also flammable
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
