Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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