I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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