I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
