Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize