yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
