I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
