I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize