He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
my poor anus
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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