Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
