I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
