And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
