Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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