the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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