i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
