I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
