I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
