A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
