I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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