Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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