god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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