I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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