You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
