So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize