I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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