can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
