I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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