are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
