is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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