so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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