Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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