Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
