5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
