what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
